A sixty-year old grandmother is sitting in a New Mexico jail this morning after brutally attacking her boyfriend when a game of Monopoly gave way to violence. And if she’s thinking about using her “Get Out of Jail Free” card, she’d better forget it! Laura Chavez is accused of brutally assaulting Clyde “Butch” Smith, 48, with a wine bottle and a kitchen knife.
The police on the scene reported that Chavez told the police that she had first walloped Smith over the head with the bottle then attacked him with the knife, causing wounds to the top of his head, neck, left eye brow and right wrist. When they first arrived at the Santa Fe apartment they saw her sitting on the porch covered in her significant other’s blood. When asked if it was Smith’s blood she replied “Yes, I f***** him up.” Classy broad. Police reported that both parties were intoxicated. I know, shocking.
You know, when I was younger I was known as a somewhat poor loser when it came to board games. I just hated losing. I don’t know why that would be but that’s the truth. And you wouldn’t have to go all that far back to find my last embarrassing incident. During a game of Chinese checkers with my then newly-wed wife, I saw I was losing and decided to nudge the board so all the marbles would roll out of place. It’s not something I’m proud of, especially because I was 23-years old at the time. My wife and I still laugh about that to this day. But did I go ballistic and start to whack her with the checker board? Nope. My wife just laughed at me and I pouted. End of story.
So why did Chavez resort to such an extreme act? Maybe Smith had secretly been stealing money from the bank. Maybe he’d been harboring “Get Out of Jail Free” cards, obtained with less than honorable means? I wonder if it’s because he started buying up all her properties? We’re living in a World rife with recession and corporate takeovers and perhaps it just hit a little too close to home. Whatever the reason, Smith is now convalescing in hospital while Chavez sits in jail under a $5,000 bond (or until she rolls doubles).