Man Arrested for Throwing a Ham at His Mother!

When it comes to my relationship with my mother, I guess you could call me somewhat of a “mummy’s boy”. I love that gal so much. And really, I’d expect most people to have the same feelings about the maternal figures in their lives. But apparently this is not so, especially when it comes to the case of Emanuel Cordell Kennedy who has been accused of lobbing a ham at his dear old mum, Brenda King.

This strange episode went down in Union City, Tennessee this past Tuesday when Kennedy, 37, had been arguing with his mother, 55. The mother, Mrs. King, reported to the Union City Police Department that she had been hit in the back with something while walking down the hall. When questioned by the police, Kennedy claimed that he had not intended to hit his mother, but had done so when he tossed a ham in her direction. King was not injured by the ham, the size of which the investigators have not divulged.

Kennedy, pictured above, is being held without bond in the Obion County jail. He is scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon on a misdemeanor count.

There’s a lot of crime in this world, but I love reading about weird crimes like this. I mean, seriously, a ham? I’m not suggesting he should have hit her with something more menacing but good grief, man, a ham? It doesn’t beat an earlier story reported on this blog about a man attacking a woman with a frozen armadillo, but it’s up there!

If there is a silver lining to this tale, at least it wasn’t a canned ham!


Violent 9-Year-Old Charged With 4 Felonies!

Aren’t children lovely these days? Well, not all children. Especially this nine-year-old girl who made the news today after being arrested for four felonies. And what was the cause? A bag of candy.

The Florida girl, unnamed due to legal reasons, was eating candy on the way home from the Fort Myers’ Royal Palm School yesterday when the bus driver asked her to stop doing so. Not an unfair request in my books. The rules are the rules. But instead of packing her sweeties away in her school bag, she instead went on a tirade against bus driver, Robert Middleton. There’s nothing quite like having respect for your elders, eh? But the fun and games didn’t end there. After threatening the other kids on the bus, the classy fourth-grader then spat on Middleton as she exited the bus. When outside the busshe then continued her verbal tirade against the driver while throwing asphalt into the vehicle.

“F— you! F— you!” she yelled, “Shut the f— up. I will f—–‘ kill you.”

What a lovely wee lass. When Lee County police arrived on the scene, instead of her simmering down things just became more escalated. She is said to have hurled an “aluminum patio chair” at one of the deputies then continued on with her verbal tirade. A cop then restrained the child but the girl attempted to bite his arm, yelling “I am going to kill you, get off of me!”

It’s reported that this tiny-terror has been charged with battery on a public school employee, resisting arrest with violence, battery on a law enforcement officer, and throwing missiles into an occupied vehicle.

What a little bugger. There is a right way to bring kids up and there’s a wrong way. I think the parents have clearly let this child down. There’s absolutely no excuse for this behaviour. However I’m in no way defending the actions of this little scoundrel. We should all take blame for our own actions, and it’s plain to see this little girl might possibly be a lost cause. Was she acting in a way that she might have seen played out in a movie? Perhaps. Whatever the reason, somebody needs to step in and nip this in the bud. Otherwise, she’s going to be a lost cause.

The girl was released into her parent’s custody last night and placed on home detention for 21 days.

Crook Uploads His Mugshot to Victim’s Facebook!

There are certain dos and don’ts when it comes to stealing a ladies purse from her car. First and foremost, I would suggest covering your tracks. Make sure you can’t be traced back to the scene of the crime. You could do this in a number of ways. Perhaps commit the crime under the cover of darkness. Maybe you could wear a mask. And when you have stolen said item, run like heck and and never return to the scene of the crime. That’s all fairly straight forward, eh? Well it wasn’t for a McDonough, Georgia crook when he accidentally uploaded a picture of himself onto his victim’s Facebook!

This huge faux pas really happened. The victim, unnamed, had left her belongings in her car as she walked into her child’s daycare. Upon her return she discovered her purse, along with her cell phone, missing. Obviously distraught she reported the incident to the local police and waited on any news of her stolen property. When logging into her Facebook two days later, she noticed that a new picture had been uploaded to her photo album. And it bore a striking resemblance to a man she had spotted outside the daycare around the time of the theft. Apparently the crook hadn’t covered all his bases…

The theory is that the thief had tried to upload a picture of himself to his Facebook using the stolen phone. The only problem was that the phone had been set up to upload all pictures to the VICTIM’S Facebook. So, unwittingly, he gave the victim and the police his own mugshot. Whoops! The victim is quoted as saying “As far as his character, pretty much scum. Not the brightest bulb” And I find it hard to disagree. Henry County Police have issued fliers to the public with the suspect’s self portrait on them.

I have to say. This guy should be a role model for crooks everywhere. Because if others were more like him, the World would be a better place!

Don’t Lick My Knee!

If you were to see a young lady fall, would you rush over to help her? I hope most of the people reading this post would. After all, it’s the chivalrous thing to do, right? But how many of you, after helping her up, would then lick the scrape on her knee? Pretty gross, eh? Well this is exactly what Martin Soto, an Arizona construction worker, has been arrested for. What a strange crime. There are all kinds of weird and wonderful crimes to commit in this world, but what kind of a crooked mind is able to cook up a scheme like this?

Last Thursday (October 13, 2011) the woman in question was leaving her place of work to get into her vehicle. She tripped and landed knees first on the concrete floor, damaging her left knee. Seeing the accident, three men, from a construction site adjacent to her place of work, rode over to help her. They lifted her back onto her feet then escorted her back to her car. Two of the men then left, leaving Soto alone with the woman. As she sat in her car, he stood between her and the open car door. He asked for her phone number, telling her he’d need to call for medical assistance. She reluctantly gave it to him. He then said he’d need to see where she’d scraped her knee. She rolled up her trouser leg and Soto bent down and licked the wound. Freaked out, she abruptly pulled her trouser leg back down as Soto attempted to go from the appetizer to the main course. She managed to shove him off and close the car door. He was arrested and booked for assault.

What?! Are you freaking kidding me? The guy licked her scraped knee? I know Quentin Tarantino is a documented foot fetishist, but that doesn’t mean he goes around licking people’s stubbed toes. I know it takes all kinds to make this World go round, but wow! This guy needs some serious help.

I’m sorry this young lady had to go through such an ordeal. She should just be thankful she didn’t land on her bum.


Real Life Superhero Arrested!

His name is Benjamin Fodor, but you may know him as Phoenix Jones, protector of the city of Seattle, Washington. He has dedicated his life to protecting the lives of the good people of Seattle, but right now he is behind bars. While trying to diffuse a situation on the streets of Seattle, Jones used pepper spray at the scene of a supposed fight and has been accused of unjust use of the said weapon.

Fodor, or “Phoenix Jones” is part of a of real life superheroes group called the “Rain City Superhero Movement.” They are members of the public who take it upon themselves to costume up with custom-made superhero garb and they patrol the streets of their local cities. While Batman squares up to The Joker and Superman battles Doomsday, you’re more likely to find the “RCSM” tackling baddies such as car thieves and the drunk and disorderly.

They are not working with the police, they’re more of a vigilante movement. In fact, their local police departments try to dissuade them from their self-imposed beats. They claim they’re doing more harm than good. Which stands to reason. Imagine a simple arrest like nabbing a car thief. It’s a fairly routine arrest for a police officer. But when you throw a costumed civilian into the mix, things get a little more complicated.

Which is what happened in the early hours of October 9, 2011. Whilst conducting his nightly patrol of Seattle, Phoenix heard a disturbance among a group of drunken revelers. Assuming a fight was going down, Phoenix leapt into action and started to administer pepper spray to the group. Phoenix probably believed he was doing it for “Truth, Justice and the American Way” but it turned out that it wasn’t a fight after all. He mistook a bunch of noisy drunk people for a group of citizens locking horns.  A uniformed policeman happened by the scene and arrested Jones on the spot.

Now I believe that Phoenix Jones and the rest of the Rain City Superhero Movement have the best of intentions, but isn’t this really just a group of grown up people living out their childhood fantasies? I admire them for their willingness to help out, but wouldn’t their efforts really be best served by becoming legit police officers? That’s where they can make a difference. All they really are is a dog-and-pony show to your average Joe Blow. I’m not knocking their intentions, I’m just questioning their methods.